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We are all motivated to seek out rewards and avoid punishments (Skinner, 1974).
When rewards outweigh punishment, people perform behaviors.
Changing social norms has allowed few avenues by which they can be both acceptable as a relationship partner and attractive as a sex partner.
As a result, at least half of their needs are unfulfilled, regardless of the decision they make.
However, these men are often punished by being socially labeled as "jerks", "players", or even "creeps", unfit for socially-defined relationships.
Furthermore, their tactics are often designated as "sexist" (Hall & Canterberry, 2011).
With divorce a very real (and punishing) possibility, these men may also choose to think carefully before committing.3) Holding High Standards - yet other men continue to hold high standards for both themselves and their partners.
In contrast, if men shun social pressures to be "nice" and follow what is biologically attractive, they have a higher likelihood of getting "sex partners".
So, until a new equilibrium is reached in these evolving social norms, men have difficult choices to make.
Essentially, they seem to have to either appease social norms (for relationships and acceptance) or evolved standards of attractiveness (and get sexual fulfillment).
If they follow what society tells them to do, they often end up "good guys" who are taken advantage of, mistreated, and disrespected.
In contrast, if they follow more "assertive" biological imperatives, they are labeled "jerks" and "players"—who may get sexual gratification, but not love or respect from what they would consider a "good woman".
Socially, they are expected to be "compliant" (i.e. However, they are also urged by women's sexual interest to maintain an "attractive personality" (i.e. Unfortunately, men sometimes report that attempting to balance these notions does not result in satisfaction, happiness, or women's appreciation and respect.