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of singles crawl dating sites and apps, flipping through photos and profiles of potential matches. Here at WIRED, we couldn’t help but think there might be a better way to optimize your chances, so we pulled massive amounts of data from Ok Cupid and Match.com, searching for tips that might help you master Internet dating and find someone awesome. Finding a date, let alone love, just isn’t easy—even though there are plenty of apps for that.These guys and their data teams ran queries of all kinds and pulled spreadsheet after spreadsheet of information to try and answer our strange questions.We also needed Ok Cupid to get permission from their users to enable us to publish those popular profile pics.If you’re a gay man, pose outdoors—48 percent of the profile pics of the most popular gay men on Ok Cupid were snapped outside. ) Selfies are acceptable for women (45 percent of top-ranking straight women used them, as did 4 percent of lesbians), but not so much for men.Enroll in a yoga class and learn to surf—they’re the most popular activities for men and women alike, so either desirable singles are super mellow or it’s aspirational, and everyone to be mellow.For we are the subservient ones who must make others feel good.
This common social training incorrectly teaches us that other people are better than us.If you get this bit wrong you will either get no dates or just bad dates.By bad dates, I don’t mean you will end up with enough horror stories to fill a book like this (although that is entirely possible).You must approach dating and attraction with the knowledge and belief that you are perfect just as you are.And any woman would be privileged to share your life. For such an approach would suggest you feel superior to your date.
The single biggest source of low self-esteem is the programmed belief that in order to be happy.