Non drinker dating
“If the sober person is in early recovery or if the drinker is a problem drinker, the chances for a good dating experience are dim.
Though most people won’t wait two years into sobriety to start dating, keep in mind that the smell of alcohol, the taste of a kiss [with someone who’s been drinking], the clinking of ice in the glass, as well as the bar and the bar scene could be triggers.” Irene Carroll, a North Carolina–based addiction therapist, says, “Dating is just so risky for people in early in recovery, especially so if you’re considering going out with someone who isn’t sober. ” Naturally, when going out with someone who drinks, sober people often wonder when and how to reveal the fact that they don’t drink.
If that person has good recovery and the normie is a casual drinker, however, there’s no reason why it couldn’t be a good romantic situation.” For me, dating is still fraught with drama—but way less than it was three years ago.
It may sound like a cliché, but the tools I’ve gained in AA help me remain more serene and rational in every aspect of my life—even in the crazy, wild, irresistible realm of love.
“Not everyone who says they don’t drink or who doesn’t drink around you is necessarily a safe person to date; I look back at that time as the most precarious part of my sobriety.” Of course, there are issues to deal with if even the best-case scenario happens: You and that normie fall in love.
You’re going to have to address serious quandaries.
Still, it’s important to keep in mind that, as Lucia says, “If a relationship ends, it’s God’s will; trust that something better will come along.
If you’re stuck in a situation where there is no time to gather wisdom—say your partner’s mom hands you a glass of wine during a visit—don’t stress.
As Irene Carroll says, “Recovering addicts can be much less resilient in the face of heartbreak, and they tend to catastrophize situations and think that things will never improve.” Relationships, Carroll says, can draw people in recovery away from the very things—meetings, discussions with sponsors, fellowship, prayer, meditation—that can help them withstand the blow of a romantic split.
In other words, though it’s hard when Hurricane Love sweeps through your life, it’s crucial to keep up the work.
Either accept the glass graciously and then put it down, or simply say, “No, thank you, I don’t drink.” Honestly, most people aren’t as concerned with your drinking as you think—and if they are, they may have a problem themselves.
As therapist Carroll says, “People need to learn to have fun and deal with real-life situations in sobriety.
For example: Your partner invites you to a work or family event where alcohol is being served.