No dating during codependency recovery biz speed dating
It may entail leaving early, being alone, or being considered the “boring” one, but the alternative is flirting with disaster.People in recovery need to take their recovery seriously, and that means not becoming obsessed with the idea offinding a partner at any cost.Newly sober, she didn’t date anyone for eight months, giving herself time to recognize the red flags that her earlier self was not ready to see.Her experiences and her treatment taught her that a partner who could respect and support her sobriety would also respect and support her as a romantic partner.It is not an easy lesson for anyone to learn, let alone someone in recovery, but the way to a healthy relationship is to take it “very, very slow,” in the words of a sexoligist and licensed addiction counselor.Whether repairing the bridge to a spouse or romantic partner, or forging ahead with a new person, a sober person has to give the relationship a chance to develop.A substance abuse problem changes the way a person looks at the world, and treatment does much the same thing.
For once, the attention – whether positive or negative – is on the other person.
This may mean putting off intimacy for a (long) period of time until the partner has made a clear commitment to the relationship, and both parties are on the same wavelength; this may mean a lot of dates and meetings where there is minimal physical contact.
It could mean that the dates aren’t very “romantic” to begin with.
The idea of fellow program members combining their sensitivities andweaknesses is fraught with danger. For anyone going through treatment, relapse is always a possibility.
Being involved with someone for whom that possibility also exists greatly increases the chance of the two people falling back into the same habits – only this time, together.
Hence, the rule of thumb that people in recovery not date for the first year of their sobriety.