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A new study found that millennials are 48 percent more likely than those of other generations to have sex before a first date to see if there’s a genuine attraction.“If there’s not an immediate spark, you’re wasting both of your time,” says Manley.“Now we’ve given ourselves permission to talk about these things, so it’s becoming a lot more common for people to [even] talk about their exes,” she says.Last-minute offers used to mean you were a second choice, and the advice was to save face and your self-respect by saying, “Nope.” But with the ability to find a potential match now sped up to the nth degree, that rule has been turned on its head.“When I was on Tinder, you’d match, chat for 45 minutes, and then she’d be like, ‘Let’s go on a date tomorrow,’” Manley says. It saves you time figuring out if this is the right person.” Forget having a one-night stand and never seeing the person again.
“Someone can have a fantastic date, but when they get an email [from a dating service] with three other matches,” says Maria Avgitidis, dating coach and founder of Agape Match in Midtown, “fear of missing out takes effect.” But it’s important that everyone is up front about dating other people.“You have to be really clear on what you want,” says Lindsay Chrisler, a professional dating coach based in Hell’s Kitchen. “Everything goes down over text now, especially between millennials,” Manley says.Just don’t overdo it, and remember that humor and tone don’t always come through in a text.“[Texting] is a great way to flirt, maybe give them a taste of who you are,” says dating coach Chrisler.“[But] they’re not a great way to go deep or get to know the person’s personality.” Chris Donahue, a 28-year-old writer from Brooklyn, believes men should still foot the bill, at least on the first date.
Cathy Meyer is a certified divorce coach, marriage educator, freelance writer, and founding editor of Divorced