I was dating a married man
Can I just have the occasional fling or a casual affair? If I asked her that kind of question, it would kill her.”“So you don’t want to hurt her, but you lie to her instead.
Personally, I’d rather know.”Well, I would rather know.
I’m not sure it’s possible to justify my liaisons with married men, but what I learned from having them warrants discussion.
Not between the wives and me, though I would be interested to hear their side.
This is dicey because you can’t always control emotional attachments when body chemicals mix, but with the married men I guessed that the fact that they had wives, children and mortgages would keep them from going overboard with their affections. They didn’t get overly attached, and neither did I. In a couple of cases, the men I met were married to women who had become disabled and could no longer be sexual, but the husbands remained devoted to them.
All told I communicated with maybe a dozen men during that time in my life, and had sex with fewer than half.
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I don’t want to be afraid of talking honestly about my sex life with the man I’m married to, and that includes being able to at least raise the subject of sex outside of marriage.”“Good luck with that!
” he said.“We go into marriage assuming we’ll be monogamous,” I said, “but then we get restless.
The sex was great - I had no idea we were so sexually compatible! I never asked him to marry me because I wasn't sure what I felt for him. It's been four years since and he's still married to his wife and still in love with me. Just because I'm not the one he married, doesn't make me any less important!
It made no sense to stop just because he was going to marry someone else. And I didn't want to put him through that ordeal either. Well, I'm the woman he loves, the one he wants to be with, his soulmate.