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Whether we’re reluctant to perpetuate the stereotype that gay men are promiscuous, or tell ourselves boys who give it up on the first date are less desirable, we certainly think too much about this one.
The idea that men who put out aren’t good enough to take home to meet our mother is nonsense. Sex alone won’t ruin everything, believe me, plenty of other things can go wrong.
Many guys are very clear in their dating profiles – almost rudely so – about what they don’t want or like.
Not only is this far too prescriptive, you also run the risk of coming across as overly negative.
There was a time when gay dating was an IRL affair, based around your local gay bar or well known cruising spot.
Now, finding a guy usually means grabbing a phone and browsing your options.
While the common dating ‘rules’ – not that I believe in rules – can apply to anybody, there are perhaps a few things we, as gay guys, need to pay a little more attention to. We whinge that we can’t find the right man, or never get a second date, but the usual reason is we’re not looking hard enough in the first place.
With that in mind, here’s a run down of the most popular gay dating apps for queer men.While you’re checking your racism, think about the way you talk to other guys who aren’t just like you.“Older men are really hot” is nowhere near as serious as racism, and it might seem like a compliment, but this guy doesn’t want to be defined by his age, any more than you’d expect someone to fancy you because of your postcode or shoe size.“There was no spark” usually suffices if you can’t think of anything more constructive, as people rarely question it.We place a lot of importance, misguidedly I feel, on not having sex on the first date.
As far as you’re concerned, this is Day One – only wasteland came before it.