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In many ways, we have lost the ability to make small talk or to say anything other than exactly what’s on our minds. Almost every widow I know has a wild story about a stranger’s reaction after learning her relationship status.How could I be honest about who I was and what I wanted but also attract the kind of guy I’d actually want to know? Recently, I met a handsome stranger and we got to talking about religion and spirituality.I spent hours trying to figure out what to put in the forms online. First of all, a new date needs to know my status, which is likely to mean that I end up telling a stranger about the worst thing that’s ever happened to me within a few hours of meeting him. “I believe in God,” the man said, “but not a God that intervenes here on Earth.” “I agree,” I said, “because otherwise, why the fuck is my husband dead?Divorce — even one that was amicable — severs a relationship with some degree of clarity and purpose. The issue remains that my past relationship is not gone because either of us chose it.Neither Shawn nor I wanted to separate, and I certainly didn’t want him to die in my arms at age 40.

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My research into the best online dating sites for widows and widowers was not encouraging.