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With an air of confidence he claimed, "I can handle the both." I'm still rebuking myself why I allowed myself to get so close to him, as he had confirmed at the beginning of our messaging that he'd married a girl too.But silly me, I fell in love with him and later realized that to live under the same roof every day with him wasn't possible at all. If I was online he went offline, with no reply to my emotional and painful messages.In that first brush with love I was too naïve to notice that children stuff.So I learnt from this heartbreak that I must confirm before initiating a conversation with anyone that he's unmarried.There are many bisexuals, already married with children, wants committed long term relationships, especially in India!I've never figured out how two simultaneous committed relations are possible, one with a woman and another with a man.He could be seen buying bathing soap in his loose boxers at the neighborhood grocery store. Hoping to find my soul mate, I opened accounts on every known free gay dating site I could find. Definitely it took patience to convert this relationship into marriage.
However, we're still in contact and chat occasionally.
The most haunting question of my life is; should I get married to a man or woman?
On the road or on computer screen, television, or wherever my eyes fall, they're searching for the men.
I thought of him all the time, weaving the dream of a happy life ahead with him.
But God knows why he stopped replying to my last two mails.
I've been taking antidepressant for eight years because I have been tortured so long by the thought that my dad did not love me in childhood.