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These children will take up his time, whether they live with him or he spends his weekends with them.
You will probably need to be prepared to be lower on his list of priorities sometimes, even if his children are grown up. If he doesn’t, are you prepared to sacrifice your desire for children to find love?
When you and your boyfriend hang out with your folks, it sometimes feels like they get along so much better than you do with any of them. It’s possible he’ll want to stay in on most Saturday nights or give you an alarmed look when you suggest going to a rave with your best friends.
Compromise can be tougher because you want such different things. Of course he’ll probably have more exes than you do, but it’s not so much the quantity, but the quality of them.
Maybe, but there are definitely some obstacles to dating a much older man. He knows what he wants and doesn’t want from life and might be stuck on those ideas.
When the age gap between you and your partner is enough to raise eyebrows, be prepared to deal with these drawbacks: He’s achieved different relationship milestones. You, on the other hand, might still be in that phase of wanting to try new things instead of knowing exactly who you are. Some people might not get why you’re with someone much older.
You might be fine with this, but it’s important to consider carefully. The last thing you should do is enter the relationship thinking ‘I’ll change his mind’ – you most probably won’t and it’s a huge gamble.
Most importantly talk everything through; these aren’t issues that are just going to go away.
If he’s 20 years older than you, that means when you’re 40 and in the prime of your sexual life and career, he’ll be 60 — perhaps considering Viagra and getting ready to retire.
He’s been married, perhaps he’s fathered kids, maybe he’s gone through a divorce. It’s not just what he’s already experienced in his life that can make you feel you don’t have much in common, but also his ideas for the future. Since he’s quite a bit older than you, it’s not always easy for him to understand what you’re going through, such as if you’re trying to turn your job into a career or buy a house. It kinda sucks not to be with someone who always understands the problems you’re going through and can experience them for the first time with you. Since he’s got so much more life experience, he might turn into a bit of a dad while trying to help you out. They might throw shade, assuming you’re just having a fling or dating the guy because you’re a gold digger.
When chatting about previous relationships, his experience level leaves you in the dust. He might have already been married and/or had kids, causing him not to want these things from here on out. It really sucks, especially when you have genuine feelings for the guy.
Chances are he’s got an ex he was engaged or married to, maybe even an ex who’s the mother of his kids.
It’s also possible that some of his exes with whom he was in long-term relationships are still his good friends.
We’re not saying older men will be completely inflexible but you shouldn’t think you can change their ways once you’re in a relationship.