Dating dysfunctional women
When we don’t, our relationship partners experience our selfish actions as a mild form of betrayal of our relationship agreement.
These minor betrayals over agreements to make each other feel safe in the relationship and to keep things fair for both people are at the heart of most of our everyday arguments.
This is often not the end of the story for the nice guy.
Her fear of betrayal may be overwhelming, but it is no match for her obsessive desire for romantic love.
In order to understand the dynamic of this couple, we need to answer a very important question.
What was it about this man that attracted a woman with traits of BPD in the first place?
This ability holds a special attraction for women with traits of BPD. She has an overriding fear of relationship betrayal.
You will find an important clue in the name we commonly use to label men with this kind of personality.Their focus and commitment to their relationship keeps them on the straight and narrow. Because women with traits of BPD are not capable of withstanding any kind of betrayal, the nice-guy type’s ability to override selfish impulses and give to her consistently turns him into her perfect knight in shining armor.She believes he will provide her with the kind of guarantee that she knows she must have in order to feel safe in a relationship.Because of this tendency, our relationships pose a difficult challenge for us.When we enter a relationship, we are expected to be able to give up our self-centered ways and treat our partner’s interests as equally important as our own.
This is a guarantee that she will not be able to find in the average partner.