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Foster encourages parents to talk to their children about what it means to have a healthy relationship at a young age."I think it's a lack of education from the standpoint of healthy relationships, what constitutes as a healthy relationship, what are signs of abuse we should be looking for? According to the National Domestic Abuse Hotline, one in three dating college students has given a dating partner their computer, email, or social network password.Foster says healthy relationships are built on the foundation of trust and not control.“I wish I’d known to only date someone who prioritized my grad school education as much as I did,” says Chancey.“There were times when [my partner] forced me to choose between my studies and social outings or household chores, even though I was in school full-time and working a part-time job.”A recent law school graduate, Haley, adds, “I wish I knew you needed to be on the same page, especially because career goals change.“It’s easy to fall into this pattern where you spend every second of every day with this person when you’re not in class because you can.But your friends will hate you for it.”“Dating at a PWI can make you really feel undesirable, even in Black spaces on campus where Blackness has to reach a certain proximity to the surrounding whiteness,” adds Morissa.Recent grad Sophie Siegel says, “I learned that you should take advantage of your on-campus sexual resource centers.
In fact, college-aged women are among the highest at risk for partner violence.Wait and see what happens when you get there, because you truly never know.”“I wish I had known that I shouldn’t water myself down for my significant other,” says Val.“I was told I was ‘too much’ constantly and it took me two years after the breakup to fall in love with myself again.” She adds, “As a queer woman, I wish there had been more representation about emotional abuse and manipulation in queer relationships.They may be an amazing person, but you deserve to put yourself first and not settle,” says Megan Crayne.Annabelle adds, “What I wish I had known about dating is that I shouldn’t have to change myself for someone.
“Then going back into real Black spaces makes you recognize all the politics that surrounds desirability.”If you’re at a small college, or even part of a small community at a larger college, people might gossip about your love life.