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We stopped cheerleading and became more of a negotiator, or even antagonist.Listen to yourself as you talk about the relationship as well.When you are describing your relationship to a friend, notice the words you use. What are the highlights that you are proud to share about this person? Are you open and free with your expressions of affection or desire? Are you holding back, or withholding some information for fear of upsetting the other person?All of these are clues that the relating part of the relationship might still need some exploration. And now that we have our kids, and our independence, we can be more intentional and clear about what we want in our next relationship. Dating after divorce is tricky too, and I’ve found some things I think are good indicators of how whole a person is, and how ready they are for a healthy relationship.
But don’t let the sex cloud your understanding of who the person is, and what other things you like to do together. And initiation of sex shouldn’t cause major shifts in the relationship.If the person doesn’t really open up until a glass of wine or two, you might be rubbing up against someone who has a hard time expressing themselves.In moderation, as a celebration lifter, a few drinks on the weekend are no problem.And if you can’t articulate what you are looking for, if your vague, or simply lonely, you might want to keep working on yourself, and your approach to relationships before jumping right back into one.Drinking together can be fun, but it shouldn’t be a lifestyle choice, unless you are both into it.
You’re friendship should still remain a focus in all of the stages of a relationship.