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"It was purely sexual for him, mainly receiving oral, but because he was the first person who'd ever shown an interest in me, I fell in love,” says Simon, now in his late 20s. He would always tell me he wasn't like me, and couldn't be, because he 'had his whole future ahead of him'.
The idea my future was irrelevant and that in some way admitting he was with me would ruin his, made me feel worthless.
What does it mean to put a label on your sexuality, to assign a category to your own existence? Does it result from your actions, or how you feel inside?
There’s no denying labels can be very important, to help people forge a sense of identity in a world where they may feel more marginalised – every letter in the growing LGBTQIA alphabet has fought for and earned its place.
Gay men aren't toys to be practised on.”Fluidity of any kind has been a difficult concept for the mainstream to get its head round – we really do love to pigeonhole – and it’s had a bad rap from people who don’t understand it.
When Luke battled depression no other pals were on the scene, Robin stepped up top help out and ended up catching feelings.
But straight men with sleeping with other men isn’t just a horny trope or a filthy secret – men willing to be open about their sexuality and commitment to identifying as straight do exist.
And, coincidentally, Robin again found himself entangled with one.“Luke was a few months out of an eight-year relationship – his only – with a girl,” says Robin.
"He always said he wasn’t gay, but he didn’t believe in bisexuality, either, and he said it so many times over the years."Although gay pornography sells the idea that fun with your “straight mate” is the ultimate fantasy, the reality can be very different.
Simon was 17 when his hitherto straight best friend made a move on him.
But if you’re in a down-low relationship with a straight guy, you can find yourself going backwards.